Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
