He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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