one two three fourrrrnication!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize