this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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