I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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