She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
