My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Your penis caused this!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
