I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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