the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Actions speak louder than pants.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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