Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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