Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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