at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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