wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
