tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
