During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
