oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
