Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
