Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
