I wish life had little blips of pornography
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
