forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
