fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
did you just send me my own nude
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
