I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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