I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
