So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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