I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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