I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
