she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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