these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
