Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
