Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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