its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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