turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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