The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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