Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
one two three fourrrrnication!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize