whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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