I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize