I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
