What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
