Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
