i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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