She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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