not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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