when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
