I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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