I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
