so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
