the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
