M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
