Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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