BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
