I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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