just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
