Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We left the knife in your bed.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
