It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
