No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
