watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
