she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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