Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
