cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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