I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
